The New Kensington ‘Green Thing’
By Cole Herrold
Some cryptids are seemingly cut from the
same cloth Bigfoot, Yeti, Almas, Seismite, Woodwose, for example, all are hairy
hominids this indicates some close lineage or at least distant relation.
Cryptids known as Reptilians are almost always indicated as the same entities
and never seemingly have different features unless one branches out into the
worlds of Ufology and Religious experiences, which have similar entities. Yet,
in Westmoreland County, Pennsylvania, there was one such encounter with a
juvenile creature that seemed to be totally different than the typical
reptilian. The creature is often referred to as famous yet is rarely covered
and is most notably referred to as the New Kensington Lizard Man, but to
distinguish how bizarre and unique this creature is, I've gone back to using
the original name for the creature that appeared in the Valley News Dispatch
the New Kensington ‘Green Thing’.
It was a cold February 28, 1981, when
13-year-old Bill Menhart and three or four other boys aged 11-13 (some say up
to 16) were out playing near the old railroad tracks by Constitution Boulevard
and North Street in the middle of both New Kensington and Arnold in
Westmoreland County. When they came across a slime-covered festering storm
drain. Their attention was not on the drain itself, for they had seen the
protruding sewage valve on more than one occasion but seemed to be something
moving very close to it. The boys looked over and noticed that standing there
was a creature that seemed ripped from another time. The creature in question
would be described by Bill in the following way "It looked like a baby
dinosaur, a lizard, about two feet. It has a big tail." This general
description, however, was not the most bizarre features of this creature. The
creature was dark green in color and was completely hairless. Along the top of
its head was a bizarre crest or frill that seemed reminiscent of a typical
shark's fin. The creature, however, while seemingly reptilian in nature and
origin, seemed to share one feature, which is completely opposed to what a
reptile is supposed to have with mammals. The creature's chest featured
prominent nipples that would later be recounted in Rosemary Ellen Guiley’s Atlas
of the Mysterious in North America. The boys noticed the bizarre beast wandering
around near the drain, seemingly oblivious to their presence. Yet the boys, not
scared or intimidated by the beast, did what any rambunctious children would
and proceeded to pelt the bizarre creature with rocks and began to take chase
after it. The creature let out slight squeals whenever it was hit and, like any
startled animal, began running around looking for any way to escape a possible
demise. The small creature, however, as it was scurrying away from these
colossal children, would not go unscathed as one of the 11year old boys managed
to grab hold of the creature attempting to capture it. The creature unleashed a
high-pitched screech-like squeal and began to writhe as quickly as it could to
escape the clutches of the boy. The creature eventually succeeded as it
squirmed enough to the point that the boy could not keep its grip and, landing
on its two feet, eventually realized the only point of escape was the
sludge-infested stink cylinder. The creature running towards the drain managed
to clamor in and disappear just as one of the kids once more attempted to grab
the small beast.
Now while this mad dash was going on, the
boys unleashed countless cries of war, and this brought the attention of
several adults in the area. As these adults worked their way over, they too
managed to see the trail end of this creature's escape. This led an entire
group of people to lurk over the pipe, waiting just for the chance for the
creature to come out. This Punxsutawney Phil-esque watch, however, would
ultimately be cut short as night began to cut over the sky and the boys, each
knowing the closeness to their curfew, slowly began to return home for dinner.
A few days later, the group began to tell their classmates all about their
encounter with the cryptozoological creature, and so word spread around the
school like wildfire. This tale, however, would not be kept in the confines of
the halls of learning but instead would be brought home where the parents of
the students quickly hear the strange tale that their classmates had
experienced a few days prior and the parents so concerned about the encounter
proceeded to reach out to the Arnold Police Department. Arnold Police chief
William Clark would later talk with the boys and receive a sketch which would
appear in the March 5, 1981, issue of the Valley News Dispatch. Arnold,
after interviewing the boys, would reassert most of the description given and
would say in an official report, "The creature was described as about
three feet tall with two arms and a tail and hunched over on two legs."
Now during this time, many people had
flocked to the storm drain and the railroad tracks to attempt to see the
ostensibly unknown entity. The most interested in the subject of the 'Green
Thing,' as the papers would call it, was Bob Goerman, a passionate UFO
researcher who came down to investigate on Tuesday the 3rd and
Wednesday the 4th. Goerman received the account from the Arnold
Police department and proceeded to interview the kids as well as walking along
the entire length of the tracks in New Kensington and Arnold for evidence of
the creature. During his time, he attempted to bait the creature out with apple
slices near the opening of the sewer; when asked why he said, "Because
creatures like this seem to go for fruit." Yet his slices were always
taken by rats and mice instead. Goerman, after his search, seemed to think that
the creature was harmless but also was no longer in the area. "I think if
it exists, its moving upriver." And with his final comment, so too did the
tale of the creature known as the 'Green Thing.'
The 'Green Thing' is an entity that can be
interpreted in a variety of ways. Most skeptics would probably say that since
the witnesses were children, they were either A making it up or B
misidentifying some normal member of the fauna. While it's possible that this
account is nothing more than a case of childhood dreams of prehistoric life,
this becomes much harder to swallow when one takes into account that adults as
well saw this creature, thereby implying that lying is off the table. However,
misidentification is, and there are some possibilities as to what it might be.
One of the most popular theories as to
what the ‘green thing’ was is that the creature was an escaped exotic pet.
Cryptozoologist Chad Armet put forward the possibility that it was specifically
a plumed basilisk. The reason for this Armet would claim is that the Basilisk
lizard does have a primarily significant crest much like the 'green thing,' and
also, more importantly, the basilisk lizard also can run bipedally. The most
incredible feature of this is that the Basilisk lizard's feet are designed so
that it even can create tiny air bubbles, which cause surface tension in rivers
as it runs, giving it the ability to run on water; this also gives it the name
the Jesus Christ Lizard. While this is a popular theory for this case, there
are some problems with it; the big problem to me is that the creature had
nipples which are a mammalian trait. The eyewitness sketch that appeared in the
paper also has a bizarre kind of flaps that come from the side of the head as
well, which is not typical of the basilisk lizard.
This same thought process can be applied
to other exotics such as Iguanas, and another sidebar possibility as to why
this would be unlikely is that reptiles are genuinely sluggish in cold weather.
The sighting of the 'Green Thing' took place in February, so this is still
winter; if this is a reptile, it should not be roaming around the cold, windy
streets of New Kensington. So there’s more indication due to the creature being
seen in the winter and that it had nipples that what this creature is, is some
kind of hairless mammal.
Going the hairless mammal route, it is
important to say there is nothing even close to this creature from a mammalian
point of view. There's no real two to three-foot tall green, tailed, bipedal
creature with frills; it just doesn't exist in a known zoological realm. The
closest skeptical answer for this would be if someone shaved a monkey, painted
it green, but left a mohawk to give the illusion of a frill, and for some reason
let it loose in New Kensington. This may seem unlikely, but someone did, in
fact, do something similar in 1909 at the trail end of Phenomenon Week in New
Jersey where several charlatans put fake wings on a green painted kangaroo and
called it the Jersey Devil, which they after a fake capture put it on
exhibition where they poked it with a nail on a stick to make the creature
lunge and snarl at patrons. Again, however, in the New Kensington case, this is
highly unlikely that the Jersey Devil prank was ultimately to make money at a
sideshow, whereas this made no money nor benefitted anyone. So, a hoax via
mammal is more than likely not as plausible.
With that said, there is a chance that
this creature may be some unidentified mammal that happens to be green. It
would be revolutionary if that would be true, for no mammal is naturally green.
Or perhaps this creature might not be truly green; perhaps it lives in the
sewer or in an environment where its natural skin tone gets tinted, sort of
like how sloths have algae that grow on their backs, giving them greenish
tones. The only problem with this is the creature's seemingly reptilian traits,
the frills, and even the witness's description of being a baby dinosaur seems
to even though it has some mammalian qualities or features that it would almost
have to be a reptile.
Going the undiscovered reptile route,
perhaps this creature evolved to withstand cold temperatures and can now
feasibly live in Pennsylvania's harsh winters. Pennsylvania does have several
species of reptiles, so it would not be surprising at all for this to be the
case. There are also reports of larger reptile-like creatures that are said to
roam the state, including the 30-40ft Broad Top Mountain Serpent, a black snake
as big as a stovepipe, the Lapping Farm Lizard Man, and several reports of
pterodactyl-like creatures. So, a small 2-3ft reptile is more reasonable not
only in believability but also in finding shelter from the elements.
Now with that said, there's never been a
Pennsylvania cryptid close to it. The Lapping Farm Lizard Man was very much
like a typical Reptilian; however, several researchers have pointed to similar
creatures in other states. The first one that some have pointed to was the
Riverside It was an incredibly lanky and aggressive creature with a
scarecrow-like face and scales that allegedly attacked a car when a section of
road flooded in Riverside, California. Now I personally feel that this is a
stretch since the Riverside creature did not have a frill and had several other
bizarre features that clearly do not match the 'Green Thing.'
To me, a much closer cryptid that may or
may not be a grown-up version of this species was sighted in Breckinridge,
Kentucky, in 1966. The creature ran into a sleeping man's house before running
off towards a nearby river. The creature was described as a 5-6ft creature
covered in scales with a frill on the top of its head and webbed hands. This is
almost identical to what was reported except that it did not have a long tail.
I wonder if these entities could truly be aspects of this species lifecycle
like a traditional frog, the 'Green Thing' being the in-between stage of a
tadpole and a grown frog, and the Breckinridge creature being a full-grown
adult. Another possibility is that this could be some sexual dimorphic features
and that one or the other is male and female.
Another creature that is similar is the
Thetis Lake Monster; it was described as a kind of fish-man with three spiky
frills on its head. The creature was very similar to what was seen in
Breckinridge as well and had many of the same features like webbed hands and a
tailless bipedal stance. So again, there does seem to be a kind of similar yet
different varieties of fishmen or lizardmen-type creatures.
This creature seems to ostensibly be a
cryptid. There was no UFO reported in conjunction with the sighting; however,
Westmoreland County has always been a hotbed of Fortean phenomenon so much that
the whole county could be referred to as a Keelan "window area." The
creature was clearly a physical entity, so we can rule out the demonological or
spectral. There's no real indication that this creature is a kind of fae as
there are not really any reptile-like faeries out there. The interdimensional
option is always on the table as there's always the chance that this creature
seemingly popped into our existence, but it again, based on what we have on
this case unlikely. This creature, I think, is one of the few times that it's
almost certainly a traditional cryptid.
This case has always fascinated me since I
first read about it in Monsters of Pennsylvania some years ago. This
case seems to indicate the more biological standpoint of a study that most seem
to picture as folkloric and fantasy beasts. Many times, skeptics will ask where
are the young if these creatures exist; we should have sightings of the young.
Now while young bigfoot sightings are almost common whereas other juvenile
cryptid sightings are practically nonexistent however if this is a baby
lizardman or Fishman, this makes this case incredibly important for Fortean
study. This would be the first, at least to my knowledge, juvenile lizardman or
Fishman sighting and could pull a more serious study into these types of
creatures and their said habitats.
Quick Facts:
Species/Potential Species: Reptile/Mammal
Location: New Kensington/Arnold, Westmoreland
County, Pennsylvania
Sighted: February 28, 1981
Works Cited:
Atlas of the Mysterious in North America
By Rosemary Ellen Guiley
Encyclopedia of Cryptozoology By Michael
Newton
Monsters of Pennsylvania By Patty A.
Wilson
Mystery Animals of Pennsylvania By Andrew
Gable
Strange Pennsylvania Monsters By Michael
Newton
Unexplained Mysteries of the 20th Century by Janet and Colin Bord
Balser, Emily “New Kensington 'Green
Thing' legend resurfaces online” TribLive. Sept. 14, 2017. https://archive.triblive.com/local/valley-news-dispatch/new-kensington-green-thing-legend-resurfaces-online/.
Accessed December 28, 2020
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