Northeastern Oklahoma Graveyard Orcs

In memory of Jason J. Patterson. (June 29, 1973 - August 25, 2019)

by Jason J. Patterson

There are a few various phenomenal stories from around this area of Oklahoma (though not a ton and not very much of substance). One of the least qualifiable or known, but more compelling, stories is the tale of the graveyard "orcs" in a small town of around 3,000 dusty, non-hipsters on Route 66 in northeast Oklahoma between Tulsa and Joplin.

This account is third-hand and I was made aware of it an uncertain number of years ago when it happened, but I know it was somewhere around 2003 to 2006. I found out about this from late-teen friends of some family members of mine, which I'll be the first to agree one should be wary of such sources, but I know at least some of them and have always seemed fairly sincere and honestly intrigued by this sort of thing themselves (also reported by these people have been shadow people, ghosts, UFOs, werewolves, etc.)

"Yeah, you kids interested in that stuff huh? You all heard about the orcs?" asked one of the regular-duty police officers of the aforementioned small Oklahoma town - we'll call it Woolham - as he looked around at the half dozen seniors from the local high school. Seeing the interest, the officer continued and shared with those "kids" the story of the "orcs" that he claims are a mutually known anomaly that takes place right in the center of town in the local cemetery, only a couple blocks from various commercial and public areas, including a youth club, trailer parks and apartments, as well as the limited town clinic and soon-to-be abandoned "rest home."

The main lore-dispensing police officer, and possibly one or two other fellow officers, relayed the story to this group of late teen friends, the legend, myth or potential fabrication of the town's "orcs" that are said to have been witnessed by numerous police.

These creatures are said to have unnerved, possibly even threatened, the officers to the point that, either on routine town patrol or via citizen complaint, when the police drive through the local cemetery after dark, when it is closed, the police remain in the cruiser and just shine their car-mounted blindingly bright spotlight around. Apparently on more than one occasion, a police officer has seen and, at first, investigated short, dark, grotesque figures that seem to hide behind, and dart between, the various headstones and other cemetery statuary. Though vague, the shapes seem to be squat, wiry, muscular, but slight of build, and move with a somewhat spastic, bouncing, fast, but waddling, gait. The descriptions given indicate the creatures have an almost innate or instinctual knowledge of how to use darkness and cover, and how to move within it, usually barely seen. The few rare instances of direct interaction between the diminutive dark figures, such as them charging or chasing the police car, are too far removed (friend of a brother's friend, etc.) to mention them with any reliability, but such has been noted.

No other informative or particularly useful information or observations of these creepy denizens of the cemetery have been relayed, and there is no indication if these sightings have ever been officially reported, or even casually corroborated with any other cemetery visitors.

Also, the first use of the word "orc" to refer to these local creatures is unclear, both the original person to use it, and the reason for such an oddly specific name. While most creatures of any such descriptions have been commonly called "goblins," "gremlins," or even "ghouls," as those are fairly traditional folklore entities, the label of "orc" makes the entire subject slightly questionable. Most anyone that has ever heard the term will likely associate it with fantasy books, movies, or games, such as Lord of the Rings, the Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) tabletop role-playing game or related computer games, suggesting either premature or highly uncritical assumptions or conclusions, or worse, dramatic fabrication for a "cool story."

The second issue with this topic, though it is not unique to this particular occurrence, is the question of the actual reason for the orcs to be there. Why a cemetery? Why night? What are they doing? Do they go there and "live" somewhere else or is that where they reside? Do they ever leave the area, or do they have whatever they need (whatever it is) right there? If anyone truly investigated it, something I think they’d have to resolve is: is there enough edible flora or fauna or water in the area to sustain multiple orcs, as have been reported, or, for that matter, even one? Are these things carnivores or vegetarian or do they even eat? Basically, why are these orcs in this cemetery? What do they gain from being there? Why are they hiding? Have there been any physical traces or evidence? What is the objective of them being there at all? This is all assuming there is anything to these reports, and while it’s a neat story, that’s a big assumption.